LifeSpan Psychology- Week Six

Early and Middle Adulthood

    Chapter 9 describes the initiation into adulthood, physical and cognitive developments that take place, gender and sexuality, social development, marriage and the family and patterns of work that take place in early adulthood.  This stage of life typically is more marked by social and cultural experiences, as opposed to the developmental changes that take place in adolescence.  In general, the ages during when one goes through early adulthood are during high school through college.  During this time, one comes into their identity and starts to become who they are going to be for the rest of their lives.  While many of the topics in this chapter were interesting, I found the section on Marriage and the Family to be of particular interest.  On page 221 it states "Unlike the early years of the 21st century, when marriage was viewed as the final step in adult development, young adults who choose to marry in the early 21st century view that step as the beginning of their development together and as individuals in a long term relationship.  The goal is not simply to achieve a marriage, but is also to maintain satisfaction outside the marriage." I find this statement interesting.  Are the authors saying that young adults nowadays get married not because they want to take that next step, but simply want to be comfortable in their lives without the pressures put forth by society?  For example, before we were married my husband and I had dated for nearly 8 years.  I cannot tell you how many times we were asked "oh when will it be your turn down the aisle?"  I admit, this question was bothersome and was nice not to have to keep answering once we were wed, however we wouldn't have gotten married just to remain comfortable without all the questioning!  The entire section on marriage and family was very compelling, as it was interesting to see the changing trends in marriage and families in America today.

     In Chapter 10, the book goes over what takes place during middle adulthood through the physical, social and cognitive developments, through marriage and family, patterns of work and ends with coping with stress.  Personally I noticed many of the changes and developments that were described as having happened or that were happening to my parents and some of my other family members and friends.  Levinson's Seasons of Life was also very interesting, and the developments and questions that that were found in the findings were compelling to read.  However, as in chapter 9, I found the section on Marriage and Family to be the most appealing to me.  It was interesting to read that "middle age is often a time when husbands and wives reappraise their marriage" ( pg 247).  This week my parents will be celebrating 40 years of marriage, and they will both be 60 years of age.  When I discuss this with friends, they marvel at how they have "stayed together so long."  My siblings and I have a hard time understanding this.  We were raised to believe that when we get married, it is for life.  Our partner should be our friend, confidant, and lover.  Just because the children have left the nest does not mean that the parents can abandon the nest.  My parents have been "empty nesters" for ten years and they have only grown closer.  I once asked my mom how they still seemed to be so in love and she simply answered "because we are.  We have a commitment to each other first, and to you kids second.  Before you kids, there was just us.  your father is the best man and father and I can't imagine not being with him."  I thought it was so beautiful. Being farmers and small business owners I could see how the constant stress of their jobs coupled with raising us kids could have made them drift apart over the years.  However when all of us kids moved out, rather than seeing what wasn't there anymore, my parents looked at what was still there and grew closer to one another.  I use my parents as an example of how to have a good marriage, and strive to have a relationship with my husband like they have.